I'm so disappointed right now that "meatplane" is just a nerdy word for real life, instead of an actual plane made of meat lashed together with intestines. If I were Satan, I would only fly on Meat Force One.

Look, I get your complete disdain for the wedding industrial complex. I also think it makes people very stupid. However, your scapegoating of an individual like she's some sort of Typhoid Mary is really getting disturbing. If she had flown to Ohio for, let's say, a funeral of her beloved father, would you be as…

They will all appear on ASOS soon, I'm sure.

Anybody who's not doing what I'm doing to maintain the lifestyle I'm maintaining is obviously doing it wrong. I'll be over here. Judging.

Next step: condescending Facebook shares and diatribes!

"I think Native Americans have bigger things to worry about than headdresses."

There's enough room for worry about the larger issues of poverty and so forth AND cultural appropriation....it doesn't need to be either/or.

This August, coming from the producers of Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo and My 600-lb Life —

I'm not a cow, and my vagina is not milk, and my boyfriend is not a customer.

So true! This is what my kitchen looks like.

Seriously. You would think if they could train an impacted anal gland to type on a keyboard- that they could train it to READ.

Of the many people who read Jezebel, only a small percentage is the right age to have read those books.

For body shaming consistency it's either missing an adjective, or has one it shouldn't.

S/o to Piers Morgan for continuing to hold a steady job while continuously proving that he's the fucking worst. Props, bro.

Oh, totally. Me and Nessie and Sas (that's what we call him) hang out all the time.

Edited out: The part where she forces him, using the power of her dirty pillows, to eat an apple while a snake lurks smugly in the background.

she just thought her kid was going to do “the fetish stuff."

Nor did I.

lol, son.

Because what we really need is for the Shipping Wars of 2005 to have a resurgence almost 10 years later.