The grossest part of everything you’ve said in this thread is that there are other deluded, toddler men who agree with you.

So I went to see “The Force Awakens” for the second time last weekend. And for some reason it took a second viewing for me to go “Holy shit, Poe Dameron/Oscar Isaac is INSANELY HOT.” He is officially my new imaginary boyfriend. And now I can’t believe how many movies he’s been in where I didn’t realize it was him…

Hiro has resting sad face.

I totally read that wrong and thought it was a pic of a boner UNDER A DOOR! Then I keep reading to find out it was the DOORMAN! Like it was a clue! and I was amazed someone could slide their boner under a door...

You know what? That is exactly the kind of thing that is bad for our society. All he said was “Hello” and the woman felt threatened? That is simply awful.

I know, right? We prefer to be called “Normies.” Sheesh!

So... That cat is going to murder you guys. Right?

Loving how judgy you are that you feel the need to clarify “No, no, I’m the SICK kind of diabetic person, not the FAT, LAZY kind of diabetic person. God forbid.”

This is cheesy and I love it!

Outer. SPACE!

I taught my guy the term “second shift” and he has gradually improved. We’ve gone from “but I don’t see the housework. Isn’t it done by house elves and kitchen fairies?” to him signing up for the January Cure. Still not perfect (2 messy people living together!) but at least I don’t feel frustrated. We don’t have kids…

Tree Hill High School

I once caught a wedding bouquet at a friend’s wedding, my then boyfriend (now husband) stood behind me and yelled “THROW IT HERE”, the bride did, and I caught it. We were married the following year.

This is a real conversation. I am in a product meeting. I am a product marketing engineer. I was asked to get some coffee. Speechless and wounded, I sat in my seat. A few minutes later, the director of engineering asks why I haven’t gotten the coffee. Wimp that I am, I said I didn’t want coffee. Oh, and you don’t want…

I have been called aggressive, intimidating and intense since I was about 16 so I get all this shit. My first job out of college I was a legal assistant for an attorney I had worked for and known for years. We shared an office space with a finance company and the hot young finance bro in the office, who I did not work…

I think the reason that many of the Gawker commentators don't think this show is funny is that they've never actually hung around or been a musician.

“Small town in a rural area”....

FUCK i thought it meant worship, as in “I worship this couple together.” Jesus I am SO FUCKING OLD and now I’M FURIOUS