Australian evolution has produced seven of the top 10 venomous snakes in the world; 7-foot tall kangaroos that lure pursuing dogs into water and drown them; the world's second-largest bird of prey (which is quite capable of killing said 7-foot kangaroos); the world's most venomous spider; the largest species of…
Oh I've been asked countless times "Don't you wish you had kids of your own?" Mmm, these are my own. They are not loaners or on lease.
"I don't know that, but it certainly seems that way."
seriously I just want to know what glute exercises he does.
only if it's a 'natural color'
Chastity merkin? Wait. Want that as my stripper name.
"Okay, dude. You're not my nemesis. My nemesis... is Captain Hammer. Captain Hammer, Corporate Tool. "
Obviously. I'm really hoping to someday be counted as one, too. I will have hot lesbian sex on their front lawns if that's what it takes. My husband is just going to have to deal with it. Part of a good marriage is being supportive of the other person's career goals, damnit.
I bet they practice turning and saying, "I've been expecting you" before they order any office chairs, too. Not that I didn't just do the same thing with every desk chair at Ikea last weekend, but still.
UGH DWAYNE WOULD BE THE MOST BORING NEMESIS EVER. I DESERVE A HIGHER CLASS OF NEMESIS.
But he's only ONE of their many, and I would assume, varied, nemeses. They admit they have multiple people that they would actually refer to as nemeses, and that is wonderful. They should really just start referring to their office as their lair and employees as henchmen at this point.
There is so much to take in in just that small excerpt! You are a senior fellow—a term which usually denotes serious academic qualifications—at a "think tank" and you and your colleagues have, not one, but many nemeses!!
I blame The Smurfs.
I know, I laugh/cried at that. Dude, if you are copping to having a "nemesis" in print (especially one as innocuous as droll internet advice columnist Dan Savage, of all people), with no trace of irony, you need to take stock of your life immediately.
OUR NEMESIS, DAN SAVAGE
your hair will grow! But it is slooowww. I completely understand the want of extensions to get through that terrible inbetween stage.
Mark, if you DON'T want a cross-stitch version of this to give to Allen as the birthday gift he never knew he needed, the time to speak up is NOW
I come from a HUGE family, half of which still live in Oklahoma. Yeah, you know this is about you, You. There was a rift in the 50s over a bunch of money from some business endeavor and that story itself is insane, but it came up at my cousin's wedding when I was 15. She had specifically stated NO FLASKS on the…
You know who recently made me come to terms with my bisexuality? Robin Wright, from House of Cards. She. Is. Hot. I like older men, but now I know I dig on older women as well, she gets me hot and bothered.
So...1. I have finally come to terms with my bisexuality and 2. I would undoubtedly date a girl who looks like Amber Rose.
