FREEZE PEACH! Yeah that's totally what that means.

And "I'm allergic to crunchy. But not crispy."

Don't forget "why are purple" and "could've used more vegan options."

Referring to a previous story about a guy who proclaimed himself a very important man because he sold monogrammed coffee thermoses.

Yep. My husband brings home the best stories from his job. He works at a fancy resort restaurant in Marin County California and all kinds of douche happens there. It is always the "normal" people who are the jerks. They had an entire crowd of A-listers for a birthday party once (and I do mean A-listers) and they…

Both, really.

The best part of this was when she talked about age in Hollywood and Mark Ruffalo became the smoothest man in history. Magical.

Meryl Streep in Manhattan (1979) She's so beautiful in that movie it hurts to look at her

There are two wonderful things happening here in this story:

i said job and meant joke

You don't need to apologize. It was more funny than anything else. We've all been there. :)

Thank you for saying so. Too many people are too prideful to say they misread something. I would much rather live in a world where we would all assume you made a mistake, as opposed to a world where we all assume you're a fool, and you are helping us all get to that result.

Woops. I was mistaken. I honestly thought that you were being sincere. I DID miss the point, entirely. I apologize. I'm going to go to put my hair trigger away and go to bed.

Righhhht. And if you rape someone, you're a rapist. Despite what you think you are or what you think you feel about women.

Never. Underestimate. The Puss.

HOLY SHIT. this is the aesthetic. this is fucking awesome.

So now I am obsessed with Big Momma

You should have seen my boyfriend's face once he realized the direction this song was headed.

Her taste makes me feel 128% cooler.

julianne i've really really liked everything you've contributed, i think you have good taste and i'm glad you are here to keep me in the loop grrl. happy i know this song exists