oh my god that goddamn complaint about the goddamn missing HEB in Hutto omg omg omg omg. They never stop complaining about how they don't have a goddamn HEB. That is literally all people in Hutto talk about. It's either that or that Texan Cafe that has "THE BEST PIES EVER" on East St. and you're like "but the pies…

tbh it's better than I thought it would be. When I saw the headline i thought they were going to identify some random black woman wearing jeans as DeBlasio's wife. Not that this is much better.

sometimes eeilengency (idk either) says something i love and other times i am like nancy wtf are you talking about pls. also he's a dude!

(Which is probably why Vinson had the nerve to later ask the store for a refund.)

yeah, you can see why people might avoid the store

A viral marketing campaign? Prices are dropping! Dropping! Dropping dead!

The ghost also has an educational blog.

That boob also has an educational blog.

WHAT ABOUT THE MENS?!

(jokes. there are no mens.)

"Thank God I'm in Maryland."

Last night, just as I hit the bed, I thought "Speak Cheesy" and I decided not to run back the computer to try and get the joke in first. Hell of a time getting to sleep after that.

I liked the joke better before we analyzed it. So there.

Because I thought it made the joke funnier?

You wouldn't believe how much I got done when Gawker was down.

Next week on Jezebel: Female productivity in the work place sky rockets in Washington DC.

unconfirmed

A couple of weeks, all of the sudden, Gawker was blocked from my work computer (govt.) for being an "Adult" site. Every other kinja site was available including Jezebel. And because it is literally reflex for me to toggle between Gawker and Jezebel like 1 billion time a day, I KEPT going to Gawker. I thought I…

I think you mean Mainpiece Weekly.

I also correctly predicted the name of Kanye and Kim's baby. Well, sort of: I actually predicted her name would be North by North West. But I'm counting it.