Sounds like in that case it was more likely a false positive. Which can be much more common than most people think—if the infection rate in the population is low enough, even a very accurate test can lead to more false positives than true positives. (i.e., if you get a positive test, it’s still more likely that you’re…

omg, thank you for this reminder of how much more accurate Galavant—an outrageously absurdist fantasy musical—is at portraying realistic relationships compared to the vast majority of other scripted shows.

Did your mother also cook every vegetable by either steaming or baking it to mushy oblivion while avoiding garlic and any herbs that confer flavor? Because if so: hi, sis!

“it is a different pizza that features a thicker crust and extra sauce”

star for Flammekueche! god that stuff is good.

Yes, thank you! I got this far in the article and came immediately to correct this crazy statement.

I’m starting to not click on Dirt Bag (my favorite Jez posts) when her name’s on the byline.

Yup. I’m honestly wondering at this point if Joan is paid per Hot Take.

And then as soon as you had started your own revolution, we turned on our out-of-office response and turned off read-receipts on your texts so we could totally avoid paying back that debt.

just replace “water” with “hot pocket”:

And why does the logo look like a hat?

yep, the comment only makes sense in reference to something he’s already done, i.e.: get interviewed by her.

yeah, that’s hard to defend.

while I was living abroad as a child, a neighbor kid once came over to ask me for translation advice. she held up a silica gel pack with the usual “DO NOT EAT” written in English, and said “what does this say? all I know is that this word means ‘EAT.’” I’ve always wondered how many other kids looked at those packets…

all of this, except: you should also definitely not let Dr. Oz replace your aortic valve.

In the end, the Sussexes decided that it wasn’t necessary for the Duchess to join.

Came here for this, was not disappointed. Thank you for your service.

You sound like you might have been having a rough day. If being unkind to a stranger on the internet made you feel better for a moment, then I’m glad to have helped. But I genuinely hope you have a brighter day tomorrow.

Once I saw him whistle and snap. I think he also called the server “garçon” but maybe I just got fooled by his accent.

Literally several people ask me if we have “fettuccine sauce”