If only they got this excited about fatherhood.

Avery is a douche, but I never understood the people wanting to ban/suspend him from hockey ("Sloppy seconds") while true scumbags like Todd Bertuzzi still play.

There is a very large cluster of young mothers (19 to 26) that live this life in the midwest. They are big on Mommy-shaming their peers on facebook and twitter. They usually take up abnormally militant stances on the following subjects: Anti-Vac, Breast Feeding Rights, proper usage of car seats (buckling, straps,…

eat shit LEbron!11!

It's okay though: they're doing segregation the Right Way.

I'll take my chances on a banana flavored skittle over that bullshit they call "green apple". Fuckers need to go back to lime, like yesterday.

I know I sound like a broken record at this point but how can all of these people make such obscene profits off the back of unpaid labor? The galling thing here isn't even that he got a bonus of one week's pay. It's that his existing salary is already $18,000 a week. I just ...

So we have two entries for soccer fans but none for soccer haters, which are the very reason that soccer fans are obnoxious to begin with?

And they've got a weirdly religious zeal about it, too.

C'mon guys, paleo dieters should be walking away with this. Cycling enthusiasts at least are doing something real; paleo dieters are pushing a stupid scam.

MRSA requires an open wound to infect a person, and Galvis obliged earlier this month when he suffered a cut while sliding into third base.

This is a rough draft, so bear with me....

BREAKING NEWS:
Authorities are on the scene of a raging dumpster fire. According to witnesses, it looks like DennyCrane's NCAA bracket.

9) Snuffaluffagus

Unfortunately for T.C. Bear, this stunt is merely a prelude to four months of choking.

is the name of the knicks D-league team "The New York Knicks"?

And at least half of the 132,590 people on the Florida Panthers website are sitting sadly, dicks in hand, desperately struggling to remember the term "Cougar."

The Chinaman is not the issue here. The Mets roster is.