It would certainly help if everyone is pretty. And if the cult was in a warm climate. But honestly, as long as I don’t have to have a job, I’m up for hearing anyone’s cult proposals.

The only good kind of cult is where you get to sleep with everybody. Well that would be my kind of cult.

Because this cult goes up to eleven.

Will he use Matt Damon’s piss?

I meant “regular” more in the timing sense. Like I’m happy to call myself Moonbeam and show up at sundown every Tuesday and Thursday and Saturday for my Keegan time. It can be as freaky as we want it to be once I get there.

This is even funnier when read in Mrs. Garrett’s voice.

Did he actually tuck?

IT’S TRANSPORTATION IN STAR TREK, NOT TELEPORTATION, YOU LUDDITE

“I thought that sex tape is what Joan Rivers used to keep her vagina from sliding down her pants”

starred not only for clever comment but also clever username

It’s all in the messaging. You have to say there is something you could say about Velveeta that is not nice, but your not going to because of how great your temperament is. Your not going to say that Velveeta is a processed cheese byproduct because you have too much respect for their shells & cheese line which is…

He asked, but his mom said he couldn’t

DWTS described Rick and Vanilla Ice as having a “bromance” on the show. According to Wikipedia Vanilla Ice has a long history of arrests including two for assaulting his wife. So makes sense.

This entire place is simply an answer to the challenge: Design the worst place in the world to lose your keys.

You want him walking around without pants???

Philosophical? Introspective? Oh shit! That can mean only one thing

Kim K. is in talks to become a fellow at Princeton for marketing and stuff like that.

If you think Brad and Angelina were fighting over Marion Cotillard, turn to page 32. If you think Brad and Angelina were fighting over moving to Syria, turn to page 45.

I dunno, the “maybe don’t take our children into a war zone where even UN convoys are bombed” is not that bad a tack . . .

This hater and loser hasn’t even met Donald Trump, doesn’t even have a country anymore. Wasn’t able to negotiate a good deal with China. Sad!