Regular vaginas don’t differentiate, but Christian vaginas definitely do. As long as it’s from a Jesus-blessed union, performed missionary only with the lights off, a Christian vagina can take a pounding night after night and still wake up each morning like the sandwich on the right.

Or has she deviated too much from her ‘girl next door’ thing and now they don’t like her anymore

You’ll have to pardon me for staring so intently at your vagavatar, but based on the meat/bread ratio and the greenness of the pickle I am picking up a distinctly Katz’s deli in Manhattan vibe. Am I close?

In my head it was Fergie - just after shooting the making of video for “I Gotta Feeling” on VH1.

Like Klingons?

A Dick and a Gentleman is one of my favorite love stories.

“Transcending race means being forgiven for being black.”

So Hitler walks into a bar. Sees some Nazi soldiers grumbling in the corner, and walks over. Was ist Los!? he asks. Zeh German army, we are mining too many worthless minerals, one Nazi complains.

our dreaded Laramie is back in the fucking game.

I believe that George W. Bush has never given more than zero fucks about any actual policy issue ever. He reserves his fuck giving exclusively for tee time, brunch, and whatever other country club / fraternity hobnobbing Babs has drilled into him as “important.” He no more gives a fuck about the consequences of his…

Ironically, planes also crash incredibly close to the ground.

Ok just one more I promise.

This is a good one-size-fits-all reaction to pretty much anything.

DAMMIT. I was trying to get some work done this morning.

Madeleine Davies, I am very sorry to hear about your brother’s accident. And also, when I clicked your link to see your Twitter feed, this is what appeared above the fold.

Swap the Harley for a snow mobile and isn't this guy basically Todd Palin?

Fellow Austinite here. Fuck ‘em both. If they pick up and leave, there are other services chomping at the bit to take their place.

In my day we called that “front wheel drive”

He was a monster player, so they red-shirted him his Freshman year.

Today, Skychismo my friend, we are all Dong Teen.