My thoughts exactly. In another comment I said that I expect word of Cohen handling dirty money for Pence any minute now. I’m guessing Pence paid off a journalist who has credible sources who claim that Pence saw his wife’s bare ankle in broad daylight.

I’m sorry to differ with you sir, but Cheney is the vice president. He’s always been the vice president.

Cue the story about Cohen handling dirty money on Pence’s behalf in 3, 2, 1 ...

I’m too lazy to look it up, but the “at the time” the waterboarding wasn’t a debate because it was defined by the MURCAN GUBMENT as torture. It’s a shame Cheney is an immortal agent of evil from the pits of Hell, because I kinda liked not having him around.

The next time you see an elderly veteran who landed at Normandy or fought on Guadalcanal, by all means tell him he’s not a hero. Because you’re right, it’s not at all clear if the men who fought the Nazis and the country that bombed Pearl Harbor are heroes or not.

If the girl wants to sleep she should stop being black. IT’S CALLED LOGIC, MORANS.

I think it’s about the creation of the Space Force and Trump’s supposed Mars mission. Imagine the wacky hijinks that ensue as the astronauts, handpicked by Trump himself from literally handfuls of donors’ children, struggle to read the Chinese characters on the instruments. Meanwhile, in a hangar-sized compartment…

Think? Heh. You must not be from around here. In MURCA v2018, we don’t think, we feel. It sure feels like Muslims are invading to rape my grandmother. Voila! It’s true. I feel that pork is a vegetable, and if you disagree, you’re violating my First Amendment rights.

Bill Clinton is invited because he is a former president of the United States. Here to help.

I always enjoyed the ombudsman column, but I was actually embarrassed for this guy. He was like your mom’s new boyfriend, who is desperately trying to be nice and fit in but just doesn’t get the references and so can’t get into the flow of the conversation. The columns were generally, “We have a swell group of people…

I feel so old. I remember when Reilly was good. I was more of a Gary Smith fan, and of course Dr. Z.

If the supposedly liberal media had taken this stance with these vermin from the beginning, maybe we wouldn’t have been in this mess. Maybe less of the “Oho! He really tells it like it is!” stories and more of the “Did you know he built an empty tower in Baku that’s a money laundering front for Iranian terrorists?”…

I saw that on the internet somewhere. Who said that? Gandhi? Marcus Aurelius?

1) Please provide links to the “doesn’t support the entire Democratic party platform”.

“I’ve watched more porn than any other journalist on earth. Trust me, I can fuck.”

Here’s what you say to your kid while watching the Rockets vs. the Warriors.

Wishing pain and ill fortune on total strangers is MURCA 2018.

I don’t know who to root for. On one side, you have a guy who revolutionized the game so much that “warping defenses” and “gravity” are now part of casual NBA conversation. On the other hand, you have a guy whose entire game is predicated on looking ridiculous to bait refs into calling bullshit calls. So much to…

Hilarious Laughter, in this case, amirite?

We know. We know.