The evidence is unequivocal. You run a 4-minute mile and WHAM 60 years later you’re dead. Gun control? WHAT ABOUT RUN CONTROL?

The guy was knighted for running one mile?! Man, they’re giving those things out like Halloween candy.

Four minutes is nothing. I can do it much faster on my bike, and it my car it literally takes seconds. What a dumbass.

Philly sports fans are usually much more reasonable.

I’m sorry to differ with you, but Trump is the president. He has always been the president. Not quite on topic, but I still love this.

So sorry to hear that. It’s literally adding insult to injury. Take care of your spine! Once it goes bad it’s never the same again.

I just watched the Ken Burns documentary about the war, and yes, the news reported body counts regularly. Robert McNamara, the idiot architect of the war, thought that everything could be quantified. If there were more dead Vietnamese on a given day than dead Americans, that was a good day. It was also a green light…

They were trying to market a Kubrick movie to the masses. That would be like marketing 2001 as a movie about two astronauts and their talking robot sidekick, or Paths of Glory as a tribute to the fighting men of WWII.

It irritates me to no end that Nick Young, possibly the worst player in the NBA and a genuinely ridiculous upright mammal, is going to get a ring this year.

Just imagine that phone call:
“Mr. President, your boss is on line 1. He’s really angry.”
“Vlad?”
“No.”
“Netanyahu?”
“No.”
“One of the Koch brothers?”
“No.”
“Ivanka?”
“No. It’s Wayne LaPierre.”
“I don’t take calls from the French.”
“He’s the head of the NRA.”
“I knew that. Just testing you. Before you put him through... do I…

Jefferson Beauregard is possibly the most loyal of Trump’s footsoldiers. He is doing everything he can to hasten MURCA’s surge into the 1860s.

Dear Lord, Harden’s game is so ugly.

ESPN has some top-notch reporters. Schlabach is not one of them. I didn’t read this story because it has his byline. How he survived The Purge while Actual Journalists were let go is baffling.

I take it you haven’t followed politics for the past year and a half.

I’m calling. SNL did it already.

You thought a Stanley Kubrick movie was going to be soft porn?

Yeah, it was pretty awful. I want to give PTA the benefit of the doubt and say the film mocked the pretentiousness of absurd people in an absurd industry, but I think he was playing it straight. I’m not a fashion plate but I thought the dresses were absurd. Every one made me think of Carol Burnett wearing the curtains…

“Do tell me more about this ‘sanctity of life’ you mentioned.”
— Yemenis, Kurds, Palestinians, Rohingyas, etc. etc. ad nauseum

The only way to stop a bad doctor with a ... doctor thingy is a good fetus with a gun.

Here’s a fun fact I’m posting for the infinitieth time: The Bible says absolutely nothing about abortion. It’s as if these self-proclaimed “Christians” aren’t terribly familiar with the book by which they claim to lives their lives.