Shit I should have expanded replies on this thread before my voracious spewing of all-caps. Sorry everyone.

AIRPLANE SHOWER MAN! It is 2017 bruh. Andrew wrote the story about him and his boyfriend. Shame shame shame.

Holy shit that is a scathing take.

If that happened in the NHL, the player would have gotten nothing more than a stern talking to from the referee.

Yo where’s Spartacat?

99% sure he went for a boob grab at the end.

Came here hoping for a joke along these lines and you deliver this beautifully constructed piece of majesty. Thank you.

This is about as subtle as a battery to Santa’s head. But I like your style.

“You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start touching the trophies. It’s like a magnet. Just touch. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, the trophy will let you do it. You can do anything.”

The answer to your question is in the question.

YES THIS — THIS IS MY LIFE

An important caveat to that oft-pointed-out stat (“It’s only half an hour during rush hour from downtown”) is that the vast majority of people in Ottawa do not live in downtown.

Murray is otherworldly when it comes to rebound control. It’s genuinely fascinating to watch how he uses positioning and awareness to make sure that the puck is going somewhere safe if he doesn’t swallow it.

The Pens have literally spent the entire series interfering with Ottawa’s forwards on dump-and-chases. Every single time there’s a dump in, you can expect Pittsburgh’s wall defensemen to jam up the forward while his partner grabs the puck. It’s ridiculous and it’s exhausting and I’m glad they finally fucking got…

Jump off a bridge, Barry. You plug.

Depends. Was the former champ found guilty of doping for the sake of competitive advantage? If not, then no, they probably would not be denied entry.

Hey Barry. Fuck you. Fuck you all day all the fucking time.

That’s crazy talk. Real and Barca: elite. Atleti: almost elite. Villareal, Sevilla: pretty damn good.

It helps that there’s only like, 4 other teams in La Liga who would be considered decent in any other top league in Europe. It makes that whole “rotating out your A squad for the league match” a lot easier to stomach.

I hate that this counts as progress.