I call bullshit!

I have discovered that it is very difficult to eat a cat while driving and that’s why Tesla needs to lock down this driverless car thing.

You’re still 2 or 3 writers away from a BINGO, though.

Black people created every form of American music.

Clicks = profit.

That’s disgusting. I mean, of all the dogs you could fuck, who would pick a chow chow?

You say that as though we’re not all wacking off to tentacle porn right now.

I now want to see a Mad Max-style PT Cruiser. Getting run over by an angry semi.

Right, I keep forgetting that they let poor people comment here, too. Well, I’ll just stay on my perfect roads and you stay on whatever Mad Max hellscape you drive on!

I’m... I’m sorry; did you think this car was meant for driving?! This is a purely ornamental car, unless you own your own NASA-engineered custom streets.

And their darn dog!

Extra trips are for the weak!

You know, there’s actually a fascinating story behind the watermelon!

My experience in Canada is much the same. People seem to forget, over the course of the summer, that there ever was a winter before and thus have no understanding how to drive with this mysterious white substance all over the roads.

He has his toque and scarf on, he’s fine. Should probably be wearing some mittens, though, eh?

My wife left me for my dog after hearing this. It’s so bad, my life became the ultimate country song.

I couldn’t make it that far. I got all the way to the line “through the pair-ah-luss watch” and I had to check out.

After puns like that, you can expect to get a cold shoulder.

May I suggest Sad Trombone for the occasion?