Damn it, Rimmer! This is why you can’t have nice things.

Fool! We’ve been looking for you for quite some time now, and you’ve just given us another clue to your location! We will find you yet, RFT. Then there will be a reckoning.

I’ve never done most of those things and I’ve only decapitated myself once, so I’m still calling it a victory for me.

In my campaign, goblins burrow into remote villages and undefended towns at night and steal children to eat. I have made them tiny, straight-up horror movie monsters. Individually weak, but cruel, sadistic and genuinely providing motivation for determined eradication of them. The players have to track them down and…

Oh, did I miss a memo that says I can say ‘nigger’ now that I live further south than I used to? Cool, I live in a heavily Somali part of town; I’ll be sure to let you know how that turns out for me.

I’m sorry, but as soon as I read the name Barkevious Mingo, my mind got stuck in that Key and Peele sketch and I was lost.

Power comes on, it beeps. Disc spins. Video is colour-fried and screwy as it tries to display the PlayStation Logo, then nothing. I get garbled artifacts on the screen and no further activity.

Maybe it’s just me, but I’d love to see a show based on Xombi. That was one wonderfully weird series.

But that means facing the present! I remain unconvinced.

The awful, cheesy dialogue is part of SotN’s charm.

Ouch! Someone fetch my burn lotion.

Except, I don’t have a current console, and I already own a copy. Being a cheap bastard, buying a new anything is off the table.

You, sir or ma’am, may just have earned a handjob.

Thanks, Peter. Thanks for sticking the knife in a little deeper. My original PlayStation no longer works (and I don’t have any console newer than my Dreamcast) so Symphony now sits, unused and unusable, in my closet downstairs.

If you want, I can give you the clap.

http://badum-tish.com/

I don’t know. No matter where I’m going, the fish keeps directing me to the turn pike.

Every time I see a car flip, now, I invariably end up thinking of this clip from Singham.

Oh, boy. I love an interior that looks like a set from TRON. Do they have a model where those red lines are illuminated?

It would surely help if most sedans didn’t look so monotonously similar.