I hope Bob Kraft cleans his clock.

What’s the point of flicking boogers on a stall when there’s literally a bunch of flushable tissues and a receptacle right next to you?

The story’s author takes us into the living room of Johnstown resident Pam Schilling, a 60-year-old retiree who is already keyed up to vote for Trump in 2020:

Rosen (personality)

Toss the sausages and toss the butthole!

People who microwave fish (good or bad) in the office kitchen should be taken outside and put in stocks. They are garbage humans and deserve no compassion from any of us.

Grindr Profile of the Year Material

Ideally both should be performed standing

I am waiting patiently for the day that one of them starts spraying bullets with one arm held up, a la Tropic Thunder.

Marc Davis: [communicates entirely in Minions reaction GIFs]

-1 fuck 70s piano men

The Browns: Dependably Undependable.

Kizer’s gotta have less confidence in himself at this point than Jason Whitlock does at a Weight Watchers meeting.

The Browns:Incompetence you can depend on.

Not surprised LeBron picked a costume with a better hairline than his own.

If we’re gonna dress up hockey players, we might as well go all the way and recreate Mutant League Hockey.

Congratulations, Andrew Luck. May you take all that you’ve earned, and earned the the hard way, too, and enjoy a long and healthy retirement.

From a recent Deadspin post, here’s a Jets fan at the Meadowlands complaining about people not respecting the flag, and sitting on the flag at the same time. New Jersey is a flat circle.

Was it that Veteran White Black Panther baby with the Purple Heart?

“Some of my best tenants are black.”