The best way for this to have ended would have been with an “RKO outta nowhere!”

“right, if I had a suit jacket button for every time I heard that...” -Michael Irvin

I loved Irvin laughing louder and louder to try and confirm that the threat was just a joke, and Smith didn’t even crack a smile. I don’t think he’s the one Michael.

Yeah, that line also caught me by surprise when reading it. By the way, I don’t think it was a coincidence of timing that Kraft seemed to have been the first one to express a dissenting opinion there and I think it was a really important point for the opposition.

“Can we just shut the fuck up and end this?”

This entire ordeal is pretty complicated, but I’m glad that we can all find common ground in saying “fuck the Cowboys.”

Kraft: None of this matters. It’s not like any of you run real teams anyway.

BALL’S TO THE WALL

The last time I sang for a woman, it actually worked out pretty well. But I think my family was just being nice because it was my mom’s funeral.

This is the rare Deadspin comment that needs several more paragraphs of explanation.

Are you homeless and/or Jim Tomusula? Who the fuck brings a cup of soup to a bar?

lots of core work can actually increase the appearance of a gut. if you do lots of crunches and the like, you will build bigger muscles... but if your diet is crap and/or you don’t do any cardio, it’ll just push the layer of fat out more. this is sometimes referred to as the “power belly” in the power lifting…

So, the burning question is:

I was thinking drug, or butt stuff too.

What you lookin’ at? You all a bunch of fuckin’ assholes. You know why? You don’t have the guts to be what you wanna be. You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your fuckin’ fingers and say, “That’s the bad guy.” So... what that make you? Good? You’re not good. You just know how to hide, how…

Ha!

I hadn’t even thought of that and now I can’t get it out of my head.

they already have a black WR

If only there were a team with a HOF QB and a history of turning malcontents into superstar performers that also happened to lose their number one WR to a torn ACL in their 3rd preseason game against the Detroit Lions that he could be traded to.

if only they had like 1 or 2 good RBs on the team that could run it in with 2 tries from the 1 yard line.

Running a jet sweep on 4th and goal from the 1 with no RB in the backfield to keep the defense in the middle seems like a good place to start.