But really, how many kinds of toilets are there? You’ve got ass, piss, vomit, and doggie drinking bowl.

Commenting to yourself is just south of stalking.

BB actually talked about Thomas for 33 seconds in the clip, breaking his previous record of talking about a single player by 32.90149 seconds.

One of the reporters introduced Demaryius Thomas as an obscure player that played for the Minneapolis Red Jackets in 1930, known only for his revolutionary punting technique.

Ask him about Mark Bavaro - I dare you.

One of the reporters used google translate to get the English version from Belichick‘s grunts. 

Two weeks later, I was gone. So, it’s like, ‘Why did I waste my time?’

I feel bad, but I gotta assume he is not that good a player, because there is no way the Pats would send a player they thought was good to the Jets.

In 15 years, the NFL will say this is how he got CTE.

This is like replacing your beige Corolla with a beige Civic.

For fucks fsake, fyou fguys fsure fknow fhow fto falliterate

Yeah, but let’s be honest, mediocre QB is a complex concept in the NFL. There are teams like Chcago or Buffalo who would probably kill for a mediocre QB at the moment.

I’d like to start a petition.. if the Dolphins go 0-16 then we no longer have to witness the 1972 Dolphins celebrate when the last undefeated team losses... watching them celebrate is insufferable.  

Or, now hear me out, they go for Finniest. Drake secures, fumbles, and it's returned for the absolute Unicorn of a reverse 2 pt conversion...

“For football keepers transitioning to ice hockey, there’s a lot of adjustments,” Čech said. “But playing for Arsenal made me very comfortable with my defenders gliding backward towards my net.”

After the game, a reporter caught up the player in the other team’s locker room.

I know exactly how he feels. There was this media company I liked that was bought by sociopathic hedge fund vampires who paid themselves obscene salaries while running the company into the ground.

There are dozens of us.

I believe that you hate the Yankees, but do you really expect us all to believe that you are the Rays fan?