I can’t be the only one who read this in Danny Devito’s voice.

Spend a lifetime bangin’ hoores and you’re gonna catch the syphilis 

“Ambrose Bierce”

You know certain words you can’t pronounce until you hear them outloud (“epitome”)?

After this review, I might take a gander.

After 3 weeks, Melvin Gordon tired of being a Sans Dinero Charger.

So does Nick Saban.

Get two, one to eat, one to shave with

They give out a free cuppa whip cream. They call it a “pupachino” but you don’t even hafta have a dog with you. Just tell ‘em it’s outside, bam, free whip cream.

The actual Tomsula Index is a list of businesses that will let you use their bathroom without having to buy anything. 

Anyway, the Bears won 31-15.

A plastic bag of styrofoam cups is also Alex Smith’s new tibia.

Iiiiiiiiiiiiin West Philadelphia

Coming to CBS this fall: Hakim's Law. Sundays at 8, 7 Central. 

“You can just throw them out of windows??”

I knew that comment would have a swift and severe backsplash.

An inexperienced coach needs a reliable brain trust around him.

Meanwhile, at the Lewis household:

“I wish it was Sunday, because that’s my fun day.”
- Not the Bengals

I wouldn't want to be at practice tomorrow. It'll probably be a Manic Monday.