“Oh calm down, it's just ketchup.”

+100 for the use of “Blammo” as a verb!!

Neither. I hit Answer, hold the phone squarely in front of my face and start yelling at whoever had the temerity or bad judgment to try and reach me by phone.

Their second album “Obvious Communists” was ho-hum overall but it had some good moments. 

Now, “Megan and the Jezebels”? Those gals are going places.

Now I have “Walking On Funbags” in my head.

Agreed

how can I best express my twin loves for Swede and weed

I’m just going to assume that was a typo on his part. Unless he published a thesaurus.

His name is Roget, get it right

The Mets are a complete failure to New York and their fans, and are known to have players the likes of cocaine users Daryl Strawberry and Dwight Goodin

God took away Buddy Holly, The Big Bopper, and Ritchie Valens, so we could have Samer and The Deadspins

I have eaten

the New York Yankees are a wicked, awful baseball team

Billy shut it all down with “Homer,” but I thought we had a good run.

Yeah, that’s exactly what she’s saying: that the reporters absolutely knew who he was and chose not to report it.

It’s time like this when Donald Sterling misses being a minority owner.

“I’m a white guy lawyer lots of people don’t like”

I’m really concerned for your well being that you know this

I miss that show so much.

“Oh, are you taking your vitamins?”
“Yeah, vitamin C for Careless!”