There’s something incredibly endearing about the sort of equivocal feeling of his work, where you know where he stands on issues but doesn’t turn them into a kind of morality/critical pissing contest, even though he is espousing his viewpoints clearly with a healthy dose of sarcastic criticism. Last paragraph is a…

The same is true of this country as a whole; we have no idea who the hell we are any more because the future is too scary to contemplate and rather than grapple with it together as though we all have skin in the game, we’re fighting over what the past was.

FunFact: Eckstein is German for “cornerstone”, and that is 100% true. 

Herrera’s a lot of fun. And he’s a top tier weird batting stance guy, which is invaluable.

Brett Gardner career OPS+ 99

The word you’re looking for here is “athletic” scouts.

There are two different configurations of dots for “3"!

“He also had the audacity to look me in the eyes and speak to my wife directly. I mean, can you imagine?!”

Guys like this would save us all a lot of time if they stopped using “antithesis” and went with the probably more accurate “photo negative”.

He’s the antithesis of Brett Gardner.

Roll d7 to hit.

IT'S A TIME CUBE

“THERE...ARE...FOUR...SIDES!”

It’s like my pappy used to say... Never shoot craps with a fella who brings five-sided top-face dice to the alley.

I would’ve told the NBA that my tattoo was to honor the Better Business Bureau, and then if they still insisted I cover it up, reported the NBA to the Better Business Bureau. 

The die on the left is part of LaVar Ball’s new, soon to be announced business venture: Ballers & Busters, a tabletop game centered around an inexplicably pentagon-shaped 7-sided die.

He never did get a square deal from BBB.

Dunce Draws Dopey Dice on Defrauded Dupe

Don’t these people know better than to get on a bus with Keanu Reeves? 

“Oh, snap.”
—Joe Thiesmann