I promise to become a fan of the next team to eliminate the Warriors from the playoffs. I don’t care how long I have to wait or what team does it.

Thank you for this, Ray. You make Deadspin the Good Place.

Is that the Philly homer line now, that Hinkie in his infinite wisdom wouldn’t have taken the consensus #1 best player at the time if he had an opportunity to get the #1 pick? After all, he was well-known for his ability to sniff out which draft picks would have recurrent long-term injuries.

Aren’t we all?

*Looks at picture*

I don’t know. Add some spurting blood hitting the ice just before the jumbotron and we’d be getting there.

It would be sweeter to score 82 and then pull himself out of the game. 

Tomorrow Skip Bayless is going to activate his full power.  His eyes are going to light up, and he’s going to destroy the set of Undisputed in a burst of nuclear rage.

LeBron: “I want to go to LA. I want to go to LA when it has a team that can make it to the championship. This is my dream.”

Mario got into Instagram, set up the video, took it and posted in the same amount of time it took Totti to take a selfie. Elite tech IQ

Statement from Robert Kraft:

Just a heads up that “Orchids of Asia” is an anagram for “Hairdo Fiascos,” so once again poor Mark Davis gets dragged into this.

Just aim to be a servant. Aim to be the glue. Aim to help anything and everything to help our team gel together

You ever have a job so bad that you decide it’s better to have a gap on your resume’?

To be fair: this was a physics joke, not a math joke, so I didn’t quite live up to your request. Also, physicists aren’t smart enough to understand actual math jokes.

At 40 feet, it was only 1.581 seconds of free fall. So really it was only around half as scary as you imagine it was.

B+ for the effort.  Only missing the folding table by 5 feet on a 40 foot drop is pretty impressive when taking into account the assumed lack of practice.

You say this happened in Florida?

...However, what may be surprising is that only one of Chevy’s models, the Crosstreck, also made CR’s list of most reliable cars.