get a lot of phone calls from people who are dying to come and play here

“Many people are saying they’d like to play with me. The best people. Very best. Very beautiful people. My uncle, who was a player for MIT, told me that I have a great football mind. One of the best. Maybe the best. Very natural football scientist. Many people are saying so. I don’t know. Maybe I am.”

Didya see the headless toddler....soooo good

You know how you feel about people wearing non-spooky costumes on Halloween? That’s how I feel about any adult wearing any costume on Halloween. We’re both stick-in-the-mud assholes. Learning to accept that is the first step to getting better.

Booooooooooo.

He’s one of my three. I never thought of Melo as a dick, just a man in chase of the perfect fadaway jumpshot. All his teammates are simpy standing in the way of that.

Melo is the Rockets’ frosted O-ring.

At the same time, won’t most of these numbers rise back up to contender levels once they play the Wizards?

“Connor McDavid.”

How much is it in Zubaz?

Both chuck toys haphazardly around the field, yet fake-peter man gets thrown in jail while Nate Peterman is starting on Sunday. 

“Aw, c’mon, your honor! So I threw a dildo. The guy next to me was yelling ‘SHIT!’ the whole game and nobody arrested him!”

Hopefully he can fight the charge and not have to bend over and take it

but unless or until the Sixers haul in another perimeter playmaker [stares daggers at Tom Thibodeau] it will be Simmons’s fate to be guarded by the all-powerful octopus man whenever these teams face off.

With you in spirit, my friend.

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered drunk and weary, Over many a quaint and curious volume of Buffalo football lore-

HaHa, very funny.

Their defense sucks? They looked pretty damn good last night, when they only gave up 6 points against the...oh, Bills, with...jesus, Derek Anderson is still in the league...?

A new Clinton in DC, with the “Dix” jokes already built right in.