It is entirely possible all of this is a blip, that the Jaguars offense will return to being merely mediocre, and that’ll be enough for another deep playoff run.

Wayne Rooney’s achievement is even more impressive if you consider that he moved to a foreign country without even speaking the same language. 

Now they can join the other 11 D League teams already there.

Sounds like these guys read too much Splinter.

The instant oatmeal has exploded all over the roof of the microwave 

That’s some hot instant oatmeal there

Whenever I have a problem, I just trade for a Cleveland Brown, and then boom, right away, I have a different problem.

The Jags can’t run, but they can Hyde. 

I’m very sorry that your computer lacks a scrolling function.

My last high school tennis match

I have not done that. The one coping measure I remember is that after Pats-Giants I replayed the game in Madden a bunch of times in a row to get my anger out.

That’s never happened for me.

Do you guys think I could eat 50 chicken nuggets

Big tacky New York Post headline reading like TRAIN DERAILMENT every five days would be okay, though.

Depends on the question.

I, uh, also thought I could eat more eggs than I did. 

they’re better than the commenters at literally any other site, but don’t worry, they’re still bad

Honestly, I really thought Barry could eat more eggs than he did. 

“We sure will.”

Fact: You can rearrange TIM HORTON’S to spell Shit T. Moron.