Hey, they get to hoist themselves on that character clause petard, so I’m okay with all of this, obvious as it is he should get in on baseball talent.

There’s so much awesome to unpack here, but the austere of the repeated A. A. Ron is choice.

Look, if they hired a female administrator, then the issue is already resolved.

Why go anywhere else?

There is a PAUCITY of CAPS LOCK, so I am SKEPTICAL. 

Unbeaten Buffalo

Remember that episode of South Park where Cartman gets Kenny to put a picture of his ass as his school picture, and gets it put on a milk carton, and those folks with butts for their faces show up at his door looking for their missing son, and he blows a funny fuse because he’ll never see anything that hilarious ever…

This isn’t even K2 Gruden’s high on. More like Pick6.

You need a philanthropist to offset the thievery at the position.

I thought Piazza would’ve given that, like, eight days, tops.

Low-Completion Idiot, in his defense, generates a buncha offense with his legs, and his Opponent Completion Ratio feels like a godsend compared to #2.

Even a blind squirrel gets a nut.

WE HAD NATHAN FUCKING PETERMAN

When one team’s base chugs from butts and the other eats it, declaring only one of these teams more butt is a fine, fine crack.

I can’t believe I didn’t know about this. Thank you. #teamdrew

Mourinho needs to take a long, hard look at himself, but he’d probably just start punching the mirror for looking at him wrong.

In a manner of speaking, yes.

I’m full of dad jokes, and so’s your mom between tricks.

Cardinals...left on their schedule, and the No. 1 seed

What exactly are the Seahawks? Are they closer to the team that stumbled out to records of 0-2, 2-3, and 4-5? Or to the team that then reeled off four wins in a row and looked entirely ready to come into Santa Clara and claim a playoff berth on their lowly rivals’ home field? Or the team that promptly barfed up a…