Klopp with the emphatic double-fisted crotchebration was the stuff of glee. Giggled for a minute when I watched the game live.

That’s what they want you to believe.

Have you ever seen Chris Sale and Max Scherzer in the same place at the same time?!?!

I dunno, I never found the toys that tasty.

Callaway: I’m sorry, coach.

“You can also substitute a bit of itching powder for a nice itchelada."

RENDEZVOUS A TEMECULA

including former star pitcher Huang Sheng-Hsiung

Wait, this can work to our advantage. The consistent punishment is to suspend the preseason.

Cam should lighten up. Maybe pretend it was a woman who said those things.

I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety most of my life. I’ve also said reprehensible things. One is not a result of the other.

I would rather have meaningful conversations with strangers about very real things than babble senselessly about trifling things.

Remember, whether he pelican or pelican’t, you’re right.

And don’t skimp on the crappy voiceovers. People have to be unambiguously certain that’s not my voice.

NBC will only charge $29.99 to look at the masking tape and crazy glue.

You know that Darren’s gonna sit right down and write a letter (to your boss), right?

I couldn’t even be mad. I was mad, of course,

It has always seemed like Darren Rovell cherished nothing more than farting out press releases to Twitter, writing embarrassing columns, and owning himself while trying and failing to explain economics to people.

Not pictured: Jarvis explaining for 30 minutes how the team which scores more points wins the game

He should’ve never changed his name from Zach Bye-Felicia.