Every time I read you, I want to unheart you so I can heart you again. We need a mega-heart system in here!

Dear Michele Bachmann:

Hearted and spot-on.

Dude, I'm really glad that you know the difference. But here's my breakdown of strip club patrons, at least from my view behind the bar.

You're all wrong. Everything is Coke. Where are you people from that you don't know that?

When I worked at a seedy truckstop bar (thanks, economy!) the word female was always preceded by a mental "mere" or "upstart" by my patrons. They knew it, and they made sure I did. Because they, you see, had all the money, and they knew I wouldn't have been caught dead stopping in to use the restroom if I didn't…

I am making shirts. Maybe then I can stop repeating myself about this. My tits get stared at anyway, so I use the time to educate. Usually it's a shirt about the budget, but I'll make a few on this while the debate's going.

Oh, yeah. It's kind of beautiful.

Mr. Bachmann mostly looks gay because of the podium dance, I think.

My husband, the salty sergeant, said this to a corporal under his command who said much the same thing about false allegations. Please skip it if you're easily offended, because jarheads communicating is generally profane, to say the least. I've forgotten some of the rhetorical flourishes, but he's 5'3" and brought…

In some cases, the visit itself solves problems. If it's the kind of disaster that happened five years ago and nothing much has been done yet, a VIP visit can spur local authorities into working on it to avoid looking like heartless imbeciles in front of the important people.

Unlimited tort law. Astronomical awards will replace orgasms everywhere!

Oh, I'm not debating that at all. In fact, I was trying to say that it was a problem of ignorance! I was referring to the people that are rich and influential, like the people who pushed this legislation. One might expect that they'd be familiar with history; you can't take away people's escapist vices and their…

We actually found a lot of support in the antiwar military families movement, and amongst my political contacts. We're lucky in that my career puts me in contact with the people who can make a phone call and unstick this or that paperwork, so we'll get there eventually, but I feel for the Marines that don't know staff…

We find the silver linings. Like the fact that conservatives are Constitutionally required to respect every word out of a combat Marine's mouth. Mine likes to talk about the need for social services to support veterans and their families. And then they have to agree to keep food stamps, since so many military families…

I live in Utah, and yesterday I had the LDS missionaries come by. I had to explain the whole Jesus-is-the-reason-I'm-not -religious thing. It was awesome.

Um, not so much on that support network, at least not in our branch. Mr. Martini is a Marine, and good luck finding sympathy in that group. He told me that he mentioned being depressed once while he was in Fallujah. His CO's response? Illegal porn. (Illegal because we signed contracts with Iraq guaranteeing no porn or…

The part that I don't understand is how the rich people have forgotten what poor people will do to them if they're not sufficiently entertained. The Roman freaking Empire managed to stay alive for an extra hundred years because, well, free wine and street performers for the poors. Florida: YOU WANT THEM TO BE TOO HIGH…

Thirded

hearted.