*wipes the coffee off my screen*

To be fair she was rather noisy and he was trying to catch some shut-eye between questions.

I can just hear all the attorneys in the firm yelling “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSNAAAAAP!!” at this letter.

His burn at the end was great too.

His Christmas card this year is literally just going to be a screen shot of that paragraph.

Nothing in our article has had the slightest effect on the reputation that Mr. Trump, through his own words and actions, has already created for himself.

I dream of the day I’ll be able to open Jezebel and not see the hairy cheeto with the anus mouth all over the first page.

THIS POST IS FOR SARANFANS ONLY!!!!!

THIS POST IS FOR SARANFANS ONLY.

+1 placenta falling to the floor

“something inside me’s changed.” yes, hailee. that’s your hymen. it’s no longer intact.

::crickets::

Hailee Steinfeld owes me an apology for that absurd Romeo and Juliet atrocity.

I was riding my big wheel through a hotel my dad was looking after during off season(so he could write a book) and i came up to a room, where i shit you not, some guy in a dog suit was giving head to another guy. they both became aware of my presence and i fled. this was the 80s, before furries, mind you.

And yet stilllll no Pushing Daisies on netflix...ABC is perpetually killing my dreams

That was my senior picture, and your cruel remarks hurt my feelings.

So the plane crashes, Juliette survives but will need physical therapy?

hugs

I want to see this movie because I love Susan Sarandon and Rose Byrne, but my own Mother told me a few years ago that she doesn’t like being around me. I may never see her again. I’m afraid that I’ll be so jealous of the character who has a Mom that actually gives a crap that I’ll cry for days and throw something at…