My dad loves him and wishes he was the nominee instead of Trump.

This seems really common now. I wonder what’s changed? My daughter is a teenager now, and because I was only 20 when I had her, most of my friends all have babies, toddlers and kindergarteners now. And almost all of them are struggling with sleeping arrangements, and look to me for answers because my kid is older. I…

I don’t know what it is about that song, but it makes me super irritable. It’s just noise. I don’t get it. So you are not alone.

Because one of the robbers was dressed like a cop?

Y’all are trying so hard and reading too much into that statement. For real. I regularly refer to boring people as a bowl of oatmeal, and it is neither race or body related.

It’s a reference to her personality. Which is boring. You’re trying too hard to be angry.

I’m sure she’s perfectly nice but Jesus Fucking Christ, this girl annoys me.

I’ve been married for 16 years, and no lie, it just keeps getting better. We don’t have any secret tricks. We’re just really nice to each other.

I only wash my legs when I shower with my husband because I don’t want him to know I don’t wash my legs. But I shave 2-3 times a week. I just smelled my leg and it smells like lotion and I’ve never left like, dirty leg marks anywhere so I’m good.

It’s “Hey, Sugar!” Nobody fucking says “Hello, Sugar.”

I caused an entire family meltdown by touching one at a friends house a few years ago. Her kids lost their damn minds. I thought I was going to be murdered by 3 tiny, demonic children. I didn’t know the “rules” at the time, but apparently if you touch him, he goes back to the North Pole, tells Santa you’re an asshole…

Uh, my daughter is a teenager. She doesn’t believe in Santa anymore, so there’s no threat of him snitching. We got him a couple years ago for an art project she was doing, and now we have a little fun with him at Christmas. I bet you have more fun being judgy on the Internet though.

Okay, but what if I only post elf on the shelf doing super inappropriate things? Because it's one of my fave things about Christmas.

Come to me. All of you. I will mother you all so hard. I’m not even kidding. My teenaged daughter currently thinks I’m the worst just for breathing in her presence and doesn’t want to be mothered right now. She’ll love me again in a few years, I’m sure. So, anyway, if you need me I’m here with hugs, snacks and what I…

I had a drunk teacher who used to nail us with chalkboard erasers. If you caught it, she gave you candy. She was awesome.

Same for my daughter. A yoga ball instead of a chair solved all her problems.

Right? It’s crazy. My daughter’s angel of a 1st grade teacher suggested I get a yoga ball for her to sit on during class when she was having trouble keeping still. Fidgeting and focus issues solved. She only used it that year, and she's now in HS and there were no further issues. It was that easy.

And this goes for everyone involved in shaping a child, not just teachers.

Why does one shitty teacher warrant a need to leave the school completely?

Agreed. I think we could change the release age to maybe 27, but your barrel entrance age is spot on.