He was burning the McCandless at both ends.

Also: a grown man named Buddy? Are you shitting me?

Simple: there was an angry squirrel in the bag, and that’s what killed him.

You forgot rule number one: don't be that guy who shows up half drunk, on a bicycle, wearing work boots and cutoff jean shorts. There's one at every game!

I was gonna say, you can't blame Scientology for that scary eye makeup.

Can’t you tell by the way he’s clutching his Palm Pilot??

Is youse telling me that Obama is a Indian Muslim Kenyan Hawaiian?

Doom

So now people are calling Republicans racist? This is outrageous. Next thing you know they’ll be claiming that shit stinks!

In his defense, he is white.

Mile high face swapping. It's a thing. (They also had sex in the bathroom.)

Radical Eyeliner

Meatier-ologist is right.

Definitely looks like a disguise two kids use to try to get into an X-rated movie, only to be utterly humiliated by the creepy guy at the ticket counter.

Sex = awkward

You mean me? Aw, shucks!

That is so disturbing. There are no heroes in this life, at least not among we menfolk.

It’s so classy how he refuses to utter Hillary’s name. “I did NOT... I repeat, I did not lose the nomination to that woman!”

He’s only upset because experts agree he’s going to be injured for the next 3 years.

This is almost as cool as when Bernie Sanders was peppering his MySpace page with analyses of the Kardashians.