If only meaty eyelids were a delicacy, we could immediately harvest Blake Lively's and make soup with them.

I’m a people and I don’t hate PETA. I may not agree with everything they do and say, but I think they’re trying to do the right things.

Okay so she has a big sandal closet. I myself have a weakness for stilettos.

She is in prison for murdering your brain. I say let her out, since the loss was minimal.

Draymond Green is an Asshole

I’m not aware of any other isis terrorist attacks that specifically targeted LGBT people. Obviously their ideology is hostile toward that community. But typically the attacks they plan have a very specific intent - e.g. terrorizing countries like France that are participating in the war efforts against isis.

The only truth in Deadbeat Donald’s invective is, “We must be smart.” Now if only he had the intellectual and emotional ability to act upon it.

Horrible. And yet, still vastly more entertaining than a soccer match.

They should make a movie about Super Bacteria. Little baby bacteria need heroes too.

Whereas calbear13 mans the fuck up all day long on the nerf hoop in his den.

Yes you put your finger on it (so to speak).

Yea we know why she cruizin the mall too my bruva

Who knew that football players going to strip clubs was a bad idea?

Listening to Jeff Van Grundy makes me want to put a gun to my head.

Jew Christ Jew Furious

Ben Carson on social progress: “Quick! Get off the bus!”

I’m totes fine with this so long as they use cloth diapers. You gots to think about Mother Earth.

The language is so convoluted and fucked up. The whole sense is, “I had zero agency, this is a situation that acted upon me.” I can reliably say that I have consumed excess quantities of liquor on hundreds of occasions, and not once did I magically find myself raping someone.

There’s a side story where they sneak into a Walgreens to steal some cosmetics and a candy bar.

Thank god we have perfect angels like you flapping around on the earth. It kind of balances things out for the rest of us pathetic human beings.