The Sixers imploded from within. If that's redundant, so is this shitty team.

My god, even when they show an aborted fetus on tv, the part invariably goes to an upper middle class, white aborted fetus. There is no end to the discrimination.

That’s a good answer. In fact erring on the side of reticence isn’t a bad rule for the rest of us, either.

I agree he sounds like a dope. But is there some reason one should assume he has political acumen? He’s a football player (and a very good one at that). End of story.

I heard he's hung like a horse.

Outstanding! (His erection, that is.)

I can't believe no one attached a rider promising to protect Tinkerbell. I'm canceling my subscription to Congress immediately.

I can't believe you haven't been blocked for posting porn.

Orson Welles?

That was back when you still had teeth to smile with.

Corrections:

DiCaprio is a bit like climate change: okay for a while but then you wish it would just bugger off.

Such is the price we must pay for moral purity. (No wait, the price is $50 plus a bj.)

An infomercial’s claims have proven fraudulent? Color me soft and silky auburn!

“His appendix is fantastic! And his testicles? Just look at the quality!”

If you like yogurt sriracha / and getting caught in the rain / and the moldy smell of death / and the taste of champagne

“...giving your significant other / an HJ by your mother.” - sounds like a line from an Eminem tune.

I hope we get to watch the committee’s deliberations in super slow motion from a camera lodged in someone's skull.

Wait, so this doesn’t refer to an actual talking dog? Thanks for clarifying dude.

What is the “safety net” to which you are referring?