“You see that headline right there?!? It can go FUCK ITSELF!! For a very short period of time.

This is how we’ll fight the machines when they rise up.

Boris will do whatever it takes to get out of an additional five minutes of exercise.

When will someone be brave enough to tell a story far in the future of Middle Earth, after the Elves have all gone to the West and the Dwarves have all secluded themselves underground, and humans create advancements in agriculture, and then metal working, and vaccines, and building cities and cars, and airplanes, and…

“[T]he Star Wars producers decided to cleverly conceal the freighter under some plastic tarps inside a circle of storage containers...”

Tebow’s NFL highlights should be more than sufficient to counter the idea of white supremacy.

Question to the grown man wearing a baseball uniform at a press conference: Have you ever done anything that may have been questionable?

I’m as big a Patriots hater as the next guy but associating them with the Confederacy is just wrong.

Massachusetts

Oldest trick in the book. Jimmy’s gonna fill his bindle with everyone else’s clothes.

This is precisely why they need to have other people play video games for UNC athletes.

More like Pittsburgh Stealers, amirite?

Pence was all over that divot.

Jesus, what do you want, anyone not a linemen can’t be tackled?

Makes sense. Big Ben is Grumpy, Jay Cutler is Sleepy and their offensive line coach is Sneezy.

Probably the feet too; they’re important here.

a 27-year-old guy in Vero Beach who was hospitalized with second- and third-degree burns