see above

You can fuck right off with that. I’m a straight, white man, and this has gutted me. Hell, I’m the one texting all of my female friends to tell them what’s going down today.

My bad! I remember him from the cases where he did vote liberal, and missed the edit window.

If that book was on tape it would just be her laughing wildly for six hours and I would listen to every second of it.

I always tell my meth dealer that it’s for neck pain. He doesn’t care, but I pride myself on honesty.

Okay, question for baseball nerds: how is this scored? FC with an error?

“I moved to San Francisco a few months ago...”

The East is not sending us their best

LeBron has never played with Draymond Green. No team that employs that sack of shit ever deserves to win a title.

If you can’t beat us, join us! The weather is fantastic, the produce and wine are as good as it gets, and rarely do I stay up past 10:30 on a work night watching sports.

Also, Wayne Gretzky never won a single Super Bowl. Talk about a lack of grit.

It’s about time someone paid respect to the flag, which has been so neglected since 9/11.

Not surprising...

It’s like an ex-husband providing color commentary on his ex-wife’s new surgeon boyfriend, who also has millions of dollars and 8-pack abs.

JaVale McGee’s missed dunk just got bumped from Shaqtin the Fool

Is there some available coach out there who has a secret plan for making James less good at basketball?

Thank you for employing the correct internal capitalization for TelePrompTer. Genericized brand names are one of my biggest pet peeves. That and dog whistle-blowing talking heads.

To be fair she was probably very nervous since three black people riding around in a car at night is basically her worst nightmare.

“But Jesus, why are there only one set of footprints in the hardest times in my life?”

It’s spelled GOATroppolo.