You're really embracing that username

God Willing, Brad Marchand gets hit by the bus chauffeuring the Canadiens to the rink. Then, that bus careens into a gas station and emerges unscathed, leaving quite a mess but minimal damage. All of the sudden Sully, the driver, has a seizure and the bus plows through some fences and what not and ends up at the…

The look says it all. The vacant stare, the hopelessness etched onto a worn and exhausted face. One foot on a ledge, and another firmly entrenched in the gaping relief of the abyss below. He'll most likely never forget, no matter how hard he tries. But one thing is for certain: This is unmistakeably the face of…

Replace the phone with a package of Mentos and we're good here.

totally.

I'd like to see some selfie vigilantes. Folks who go around with a fire truck and spray people taking them like they were peeing on the streets of Mumbai.

I mentioned back in the MLB map that I was kinda saddened that the Jays didn't rank in any WNY zip codes, and it looks terrible on the team marketing-wise especially with the Bisons being their farm now. Same applies here.

As a resident of Western New York, I am pleased to discover that I cheer for the Knicks and Lakers. This whole time I thought my friends and I were cheering for the Raptors, but it appears I have been sorely mistaken. Thank you for clearing this up 'The Upshot'.

If George Steinbrenner were around to see this, he would probably say: "Fuck this guy, he's a fucking fuck."

I haven't somebody back away from a mound so awkwardly since Anne Heche.

One thing that might help is a trade to the Pirates. He'd fit in better there, what with all the Rs.

Any team that employs someone whose Uncle is Gary Suter, can burn.

Not shown in the photo was the disclaimer on the packaging.

Wisconsin Residents: Please do not attempt to consume Ping-Pong ball. Please do not deep fry, slather in cheese or wrap in cellulose casing. You cannot eat this.

I guess this beats the usual, drab podium presentations that traditionally follow a sanctioned, 90 minute diving competition.

exchange rate jokes? Jean Chretien is going to fax you over a terse letter of discontentment.

Good thing the dome was closed yesterday, as the high winds undoubtedly would have blown the dust clean off that 101 year old Kitty.

"And according to our research, the best candidate is...FRANCE??? Oh for fuck sakes."

If they hurry, they can still catch Vinny Testaverde. He's just up ahead, driving that bus.

Are we sure those are Browns fans, and not just the actual guys?