•  Spell while getting hit by a bus.

“Toxic bros”? Really? Consider: Maybe Kirsten just kind of sucks and there’s zero appetite out there, among wither men or women, for a Wall St lawyer turned political opportunist. And that maybe she was kneecapping a perceived political rival in Franken rather than making a principled stand. When Republicans are…

Every one of his tattoos looks like he got paid on Friday, went out drinking that night, then tossed his last two crumpled twenties on the counter of the dirtiest shop in town and asked “What’ll this get me?”

I think the game you just invented is called cricket.

I would add that they should install a smooth hard surface of some sort over everything beyond 400 feet so that if you hit what used to be a home run, that ball is never going to stop rolling. Also institute a rule that you can run the bases multiple times for multiple runs, but if you’re on your second or later time…

Ozil and his agent have made it clear that he has no intention of going anywhere given that A) he’s under contract and B) he loves life in London. This means that Arsenal not only have to eat the bulk of his wages and likely give him away, but do so to a team that resides in London and that he’d be willing to go.

Wait until he learns the there’s a NEW Mexico!

For what it’s worth, this is from the Astros’ game thread on Reddit:

“She is going be OK according to my mom. She was 4 rows away and just talked to security guard who said they are taking her to hospital for precautionary but early signs are good.

Neither of The Two Jimmies are funny, talented, or watchable. I can’t stand Kimmel or Fallon. They’re both an embarrassment to watch.   And James Corden is almost as bad.

I bet a lot of Rick and Morty fans could also start their own companies as well.

This article inspired me so much that I dropped everything, moved to Europe, and became a truck driver.

I bet he fucking planned it, too. Killed ‘em with Mallex aforethought.

I spent 30 minutes in line at a street festival in 70 degree weather to pay $8 for an award winning tamale yesterday and got a little sunburned, so I know how they feel.

“Old man Rooney” sounds like the irritable guy who lives at the end of the block where kids dare each other to run through his yard. 

Normally i would be super against backlash based on a trailer causing this kind of delay or change in a creative vision... but I don’t understand how that Sonic design ever made it off the drawing board... I’m glad the time is being given to fix this and that the VFX artists are getting the time and pay required.

The real story is how much Mallory Edens (Bucks owner’s daughter, seated next to Rodgers) ages between the first and last videos.

This game lasted 24 hours and 23 minutes in dog years.

It’s hard to appreciate their feats when it feels like they’re playing a different sport from most of their competition. I could score about 100 goals against my 5 year old in 90 minutes of play but you probably wouldn’t marvel at my level of skill and accomplishment, you’d say it’s obvious I won because of my unfair…