“Jeez, Madrid needs another Baleout?”
-the rest of the EU

Ah, the ol' Pete Carroll Special...

The Belgian defender’s exit from the Premier League could not have come at a better time.

“It was a social experiment!” is the last refuge of a scoundrel.

It’s really weird to live in a world where posting photos of a vacation is more important than actually enjoying a vacation. 

I just think it’s funny that she was actually at the beach (a fun place to be), pretending to be at a music festival in the Inland Empire (the 9th circle of hell).

Rico you’re writing a comment on a blog post

I've never played any of riots games and never care to. Phrases like “burn it to the ground” are inflammatory and entirely unhelpful. From what I’m seeing on glassdoor the average salaries for this company seem pretty good (above 50 and 80 for many postions), many which make more than I make as a public interest…

When I run onto the field, I’m bringing ammunition. One security guard is getting a hot dog straight to the face. Another is getting a 28 dollar 16 ounce aluminum bud light in the ear. Wield a lawn chair like a sword GoT style. There is no exit strategy, there is just war

Did they account for the coriolis effect?

I fucking love Jeter’s self-inflicted damage to his reputation. I hope he sticks around for like 30 years and keeps digging himself deeper and deeper, so that when he dies someday he’s remembered more as the shitty owner of the Marlins than as a Yankees shortstop.

Yeah, in general I think sports would be better without replay, but they should stop beating this dead horse. 

“What about Dennis Rodman? He’s huge and strong! With a build like that, he should have no trouble whatsoever assigning this job to one small man with no expertise handling this sort of thing.”

So what’s this mean for North Korean disarmament?

This should have been published on The Takeout

How has “Infinite Tucker” avoided the NOTY bracket? That’s an 80-grade name

My favorite Vin Scully line from when he first came up with the Dodgers: “Dee Gordon is so fast that when he wakes up in the morning he’s already on second base.”

I’m not that surprised it isn’t his Achilles. KD’s heel turn was years ago.

Luke, I find it almost dishonest that you’re trying to pass this for a chinese knockoff when it’s actually PUBG with a different name for bureaucratic reasons. It’s not a knockoff.

It’s like saying resident evil is a biohazard knockoff.

“Game For Peace is so similar to PUBG, in fact, that players noticed after the change that they retained the same level they’d previously held”