I look more like Britney than this chick.

Yeah. i find that surprising — i can hear light bulbs, i can smell electricity, and there’s a vibrational quality to a lot of stuff that I can feel that makes me a bit nuts.

I can always smell electricity, and I can tell when neighboring apartments turn on the tv. But when I was pregnant my heightened sense of smell was like a disability, it’s really kind of awful.

Nah, the o-zone is where I go every night from 10:00-10:30. And that smells completely different.

Other people can’t smell that?

and that baby’s name was America.

He’s talking about himself.

I found their free speech zone.

I bet he died laughing his ass off.

Carol Brady is survived by 5 loved children and Jan.

I live in Canada, so I have zero stuffings to give.

a big ol fuck up followed by some decent apologies / basic accountability feels like an honest to God palate cleanser at this point.

Good shower head is missing from this list.

Dress is Versailles ugly

she was wed off to a tangerine Demogorgon to settle the debt of her parents, who stole magic beans from Donald Trump’s enchanted vegetable garden when she was only one year old.

Armie Hammer always makes me think of an anthropomorphic box of baking soda.

I’d vote for a rip in the space and time continuum.

Legs for days gays