I googled toilet paper penis roll and was not disappointed.

I always have to try not to moan like a fucking creep during the scalp massage.

This is the most frightening quote to me.

That’s . . . not true.

God save us from President Pence.

Affirmative action?

Maybe he’s what the kids call a “woke bae”. Or a “hepcat”, or “far out”.

did you just assume their gender?

why is there a man in here

I live in Seattle, so a few days ago I sat down on the floor with my 4 month old and we talked about the pros and cons of each candidate and initiative, then filled out my ballot and mailed it in.

That’s cause they killed most of them off last season.

am i supposed to be mad about this?

While sexist and motherhood-obsessed, Iappreciated this and the hazing metaphor.

Because thats what he calls women

SEE

Tomato soup with a side of grilled cheese sandwich

Trying pose my son in his first Halloween costume, and he was not happy. That it is out of focus, makes this photo even better. I call this his dejected pumpkin costume.

Yeah, bitches only have to drink 77% as much alcohol to get as drunk as a Man.

Yeah, this is 100% not true, but it’s absolutely delightful all the same. :)

Oh please, of course it’s not true! Unless a picture of this newspaper clipping is produced, I’m going to credit the author for writing a pretty good scary story.