I’m drinking a beautiful (ahem bottle of) Rosé. I recently started a job at a fancy schmancy winery and get free/discounted wine by the buttload, so I’ve been quite content in my new perks. Even if it’s part time....which also works because YAY I started my own business!

I am now being PAID...PAAAAIIID to make art and…

Jack or Simon for my hypothetical never to exist boys.

With the new algorithim, the more likes and comments a picture has the more likely it’ll show up first in other people’s newsfeeds. Nothing is in chronological order anymore, which is why you’ll see photos from 22 hours ago inbetween two new ones your friends have posted.

She sounds like she’s been living under a rock for the last 20 years and her only source of infromation was from 1999-2007s People magazines from your doctor’s waitinf room shoved under her door every week.

When asked about what she thinks of Bratt and Angelina’s divorce, Alicia replied, shocked “WHAT HAPPENED TO…

Yeh but he hasn’t said that he DOESN’T eat babies.

Which one is it, Abe.

Because the world didn’t deserve Bowie. He was too good for us.

And we all know how well THAT went

oh man, I was picturing a shoe and it was all the more satisfying

oh my god, I love pit bulls so much. They’re just big ol’ babies and I love those big solid dumb heads they have. I wish they had better raps cause they’re just such sweet dogs.

My Molly was a smart frickin dog but MAn she could be dumb. She followed a neighbour across the street after escaping our yard one day. I was…

Dear Jane,

I tried to let my baby sleep on the airplane floor but it just keeps rolling away under the seats like lost change or a dropped Mentos. Now United Airlines won’t let me fly with them anymore but I have a feeling it’s only because my baby was wearing leggings and has my name tattooed on it’s neck.

Also my life…

I think you’re talking about different greys.

Don’t apologize in the card. Most people probably wouldn’t notice the time unless you pointed it out.

Plus it’s a fucking HUMAN you made. You’re allowed to be late on shit like this. Anyone who makes a deal of it is a jerky jerk face.

Is it just cause you think it’s unnatural or are you just waiting for the other shoe to drop? Cause that dread of “oh god something bad is going to happen now” is the worst sort of forboding.

Otherwise, just enjoy it. Life will notice you cruising soon and go “AH, let’s throw a curve-ball at him yes?” and you’ll be…

HAHAHA this is so great

SOLID advice.

I think about this all the fucking time.

I worked Mon-Fri 9-5 for almost 6 years and the one thing I missed most was being able to go to a mall or the grocery story or run any errand at 11am on a Tuesday and have the place nearly to myself (as compared to a Saturday)

The whole TGIF thing always bugged me. Like, do you hate your life THAT much that 5 days of your week, ie a HUGE portion of your life, is so painful that your only reason for getting through them is to get to the weekend? I had a Mon-Fi 9-5 office job that was making me miserable so I quit that shit. Which I…

Yeh I’m at that weird age (27) where I completely remember doing everything pre-internet and pre-phone. I remember getting my first cell phone about 10 years ago, and it was a little flippy thing I was SUPER stoked on buying a tie-dye sticker to customize the face for. AND IT HAD A CAMERA. AAA CAAAMMERAAAA.....

I’m…

AGREED, THERE NEEDS TO BE MORE YELLING ABOUT THIS.

We’ve lost xoVain, now is your chance to CASHHHHTHEFUCKIN