I was sitting on a packed city bus one summer and next to me was a blind man with a beautiful black lab. Of course I resisted petting him because I knew he was working, but it was very crowded and couldn’t help being pressed right up against the two of them. As the bus trundled on, I felt him slowly relax into the…

weird....that’s not Gary?

Think of it this way...

2016 tried to take Carrie Fisher...AND IT LOST

man, it gets so sweaty out there. I’ve definitely snowboarded in a tshirt before.

I am loving the word ‘coupon’ here

coo-PAWN

I like the idea of giving no matter what time of year it is, though it’s hard for some people not to have ‘an occasion’.

My cousin, whom I am very close to, is Jehovas Witness. She doesn’t do birthdays or Christmas, which is hard because they;re very family centric things. But it’s taught me to be generous and giving…

A friend of mine asked for things to donate to shelters for his birthday one year. His parents still gave him a little something, but everyone else in his family got gifts he could give away. I always admired that.

Also they’re not trying to be cute or funny. Tila Tequila is a known Nazi.

I thought mystery girl was going to be a dude, to be honest.

If Amy Schumer were a Barbie I’d imagine her own movie would be somethin akin to the wonderous creation that is

Honestly, my Barbies were the last place I got my body hangups from. They were a source of immense joy and imagination as a kid, I remember playing with them quite fondly. Usually the hangups came from skinny teeny-boppers on TV. I was too busy creating outrageous storylines about sex, deception, and life or death…

Certain words and numbers have smells and colours for me, which I came to understand is something called synethesia? And not everyone has it...so que me looking like an idiot when I expected other people to be like “oh ya, the number 2 IS yellow.”

I know some people who don’t dream in colour, which I thought was…

I can’t do LED lights, which is unfortunate because all the christmas lights that are available now are LED....I’ve been searching like a madman for my old energy-sucking lightbulbs to replace broken ones on my tree.

LED lights....hum? Vibrate? Something...they do something to the surrounding area that not only gives…

oh fuck, I am so glad I’m not an insane person and this is actually a thing...

Thank you, I thought I was nuts but I’ve always been able to as well.

Holy shit. ok besides the fact that I yell “MAAAA” when I walk into the house or from another room if I’m too lazy to go find her.....my mother is also Teresa (no H, though...) and my friends affectionately called her “Mother Teresa” as we were growing up. Appropriatee considering she was both very nurturing and…

Now that I think of it, I can’t think of a single time I’ve ever called my mother “Mommy”. It’s always “Mom” or “Ma” or sometimes I have to shriek her name when she’s not paying attention to me in a public space. And of course, I use “mother” when I’m trying to piss her off.

ugh god no I can’t stand adults who say Daddy I just cant.

But...but...I love it when you call me big papa.