On the other hand, a public rejection is much more amusing for your unwilling captive audience.

This is an excellent point. Also, positive reinforcement with treats will help her maintain this new behavior.

It only works if you do it in the moment. Waiting will confuse the person, and they will just get mad at you

Take her head and rub her nose in the terrible tip and say, “Did you do that? No! Bad tipper, bad!” She should learn her lesson after the second or third time.

Wait till he finds out that the guy fucked his mom too.

I think the proper response would be “Hire a sitter. Next question!”.

We took our kids out, but to places that were obviously family-oriented. A gastropub doesn’t need your precious Wren or Finn, and neither do the patrons

Sorry dude, I raised a lil’ Nugget and I knew I as giving up certain things and places and that those would lesses and my nugget got older.  I don’t get where parents today think they can somehow live as they did pre-baby or even pre marriage/30's/etc.  

Yes, you, a single person who went to this place occasionally put this place on the map, all by yourself, because your level of influence is just that monumental. Also you’re right, they’re rejecting your child specifically - it is a slap in the face to you! Also, you and your child are the most important people in…

Also!  I have a sneaking suspicion they put that sign out specifically for you!

And now it’s MY favorite restaurant

Teens are typically too broke or too selfish to tip properly. You put up with them knowing that most likely they’ll also be waiting tables at some point and have the exact same issue.

“If you want me to wear thirty-seven pieces of flair like your pretty boy Brian over there.... then MAKE THE MINIMUM THIRTY-SEVEN!”

“Do I have to smile while I’m waiting tables?”

Sometimes I’m just tired or hungover or really not into it. Do I really have to put on a show for these people full-time?

‘Comprendez’ is jokey bastardized French, Dave Foley uses it in this amazing sketch by the amazing Kids in the Hall (2:15 minute mark).

The good table was reserved for your brothers. 

That's never never stopped the people who write her.

“Why can’t I have the good table?”

Found Rude Negro’s burner account.