To me, the obvious reply is "It's delicious, but I'm full. May I have a doggie bag/to-go box?"

Am I, like, a Boomer now? I don’t get the reference, but I’m guessing it’s from a TV show. (Willikers! I just realized that I haven’t watched TV for 20 years—just online content, which is primarily through YouTube and Stream.me these days.)

Oh, sheesh! Occasionally let the grandparents, auntie, or trusted babysitter watch your child for a couple hours so you and the wife can continue to enjoy dinner at that neighborhood gastropub you single-handedly “put on the map.”

Yeah, that would be one of them. Sadly, the church crowd has this reputation, too. Speaking of, my folks used to attend a church where they (and teenage me) were part of a large group that would regularly go out after the Wednesday evening service. This one guy would routinely suggest—assert, really—that he leave the…

It’s likely these teens are just selfish. My siblings and I grew up observing my parents tip generously, and we all became generous tippers in turn. Same thing is true of our kids, three of whom are teenagers or older. Now, I’m not implying that these affluent teens’ parents are all tightwads. Instead, I think these…

There’s no shortage of articles and social-media conversations about the suspicious packages received by HRC, Obama, and CNN. If that’s what you want to discuss, your in the wrong comment section.

Based on the article title and first image, which was displayed in my news feed, I figured that Vouge had egregiously presented that hairstyle as a ‘fro. Glad I read your article and—I’m just gonna cut to the chase. I found your response to this misplaced outrage from a bunch of ignorant virtue signalers hungry for…

To be fair, it seems that many women miss the mark, too! All too often I’ve looked into stalls with pee-pee drips, poo smears, and blood smears on the toilet seats or even worse—on the stall doors or paper dispensers! (I’m inclined to think that the latter is the result of antisocial or scatological disorders.)

The obvious compromise is for the hovering-type, especially those with bad aim, to cover the seat with TP instead of squat. I go the extra mile and keep travel-sized sanitizer on hand to disinfect the seat, as well as the door latch. I’m no germ-a-phobe, but I’ve seen enough poo smears in stalls to deem it necessary. 

I suspect it was due to airport-induced hypnosis. I’ve accidentally walked into the men’s restroom a couple of times for this very reason. On one of these occasions, I passed two men using the urninals, which were separated by narrow partitions, before it clicked that I was in a bathroom that did *not* align with my…

I disagree with de-gendering all of them. For starters, many Islamic restaurants have segregated dining areas for women and men, so you can bet your sweet bippy that unisex bathrooms wouldn’t work for Muslims due to modesty requirements—more so when they need to use public bathrooms to prepare for prayer (wudu).

Rather, they're indirectly expressing appreciation that their parents and grandparents loved them enough to discipline them/teach them to be respectful. 

This is the first Salty Waitress column I’ve read—my Google feed keeps pushing more ‘agony aunt’ and ettiquette advice columns since I regularly read Dear Abby and Miss Manners. I liked her response, but yours is tops! 

Yeah, well, the growing Muslim population in France will change that. The Messenger of Allah said: “Whoever acquires a dog - with the exception of a dog to guard livestock, a hunting dog, or a farm dog - each day a Qirat is deducted from his reward. [Abu Dawud]

If boisterous kiddies also upset your widdle puddin “beyond belief,” it doesn’t seem fit to give you emotional support—not that an animal should be burdened to do so.

N.E. Day Drinking already noted the exception of service dogs. As for dogs with separation anxiety—and speaking as one who fosters dogs for a rescue organization—the treatment is NOT to take them everywhere you go.