Reminds me of the French film The Gleaners & I/Les glaneurs et la glaneuse. I’m glad this woman is bringing at least some of her haul to food pantries.

When I was in college, I’d engage in “freeganism” via academic conferences that offered free snacks...maybe I should go back to school...

Honestly when I get dumped I go into a cycle of “all men suck” so it likely wouldn’t matter HOW attractive the dude was. If he was MORE attractive than the guy who dumped me, I’d think he was trolling me or something.

Tina and I also used to donate blood to get free cookies from the nice old Scottish ladies who volunteered at the clinic. After donating, and eating cookies, we’d go to the pub and get SHIT FACED on a pint of beer.

A male, or female, friend who fucked Alan Cummings?

I have a friend whose sister is married to their first cousin. In terms of genetics, risk is increased slightly for something, but what really hit home for me was now they're getting divorced. Imagine divorcing and still having to see your ex at every family function. :/

Monogrammed slippers should be to “I Thee Dread” as monogrammed thermos is to “Kitchenette”. Those are some dumb looking slippers.

So... your husband’s still chasing that whale? Well, I’ve got a fresh-corked tincture of opium. Why don’t we go drug this child to stillness, get you out of that uncomfortable horsehair crinoline, and go explore our sexuality together?

omg. i wanna play.

I see she’s gonna sue me for the Cereal Sex Jokes.

I took my canary to the beach once. I was moving to Italy from France and thought it would be a good idea to leave my stuff at my family’s house....in Northern Sweden. My canary rode shotgun the whole way. Once we got to southern Sweden, I figured we needed to kickback on the beach a bit.

No! A first tattoo should always be a starfish, because starfish regenerate! Which is creepy and awesome.

Is that an orange in your codpiece or are you just happy to - oh. It is an orange. Sigh.

Let’s all act appropriately surprised.

OMG! I thought at first it was a party where someone announces they are transgendered and are switching over! I think I’ve been living in California too long. LOL.

EXCUSE ME?!?! You missed the best one....

fixed: Tisdale is now the “Land of Rap and Honey”