...But where's a gal who wants to get laid by other gals go?

Flying on a plane with your period is just irresponsible. You want to attract flying bears? Because that’s how you attract flying bears.

That’s sorta why they pay me.

Yes please.

I would definitely watch a show where DJ and Kimmy are married to each other and have three adorable boys.

This feels like a trap.

TWIST: It's a male dog. And it's teabagging you while it eats your nose.

I am jealous and hangry as hell right now.

Today has been a very difficult day for me! The clocks went back yesterday morning in the UK so I had to wait until 4PM and sneak a read whilst I am supposed to be working rather than read it on my break at 3PM as I did previously.

Having been to a Maasai village in Tanzania, I think I know why. The Maasai have a traditional jumping dance, the adumu, that they often show (and encourage visitors to participate in) if you go to visit a village. Certain Maasai villages are becoming established tourist destinations, where you pay an entry fee and…

"My husband had a fit ... " and then I told him to wash the fucking dishes himself, and we've never been happier! Thanks, kotex!

"Couture"

And look at those people-props around them. They are so happy to be there.

..they are actually jumping in that photo. wat even..

I'm normally like, a 2 on the Kinsey scale, and she pushes me to more like a 4 or 5. I love her. Call me. Rebel pls.

"Actually, if the grass is greener on the other side, you need to flip the sod over"