Is it ok to be against rape but still think this sucks

OMG YAAAAS YASSSSSSS TO EVERY IDIOT COMMENTER WHO KEPT SAYING SHE WAS JUST OVERLINING HER LIPS I AM SINGING DASHBOARD’S VINDICATED AND DANCING AROUND THIS AIRPORT TERMINAL ALSO I AM PROBABLY VERY DRUNK

If you’re as obsessed with not coming off as an old person as Madonna is, thinking a 7-year-old reference is topical and witty is probably not the best way to go about it. Maybe give two thumbs up and go “Is nice!” while you’re at it.

Raise your hand if your middle name is Marie. *raises hand*

“Forgive me please, but that’s what you get when you play with people’s emotions.”

Jesus Christ, what a bunch of butts. I don’t have kids and I don’t want kids and I don’t really like kids but I do my best to nod along supportively when people talk about their kids or show me pictures or whatever because that is basic human courtesy and also I guess it’s really nice that people love their kids? It’s…

I'm not even bisexual and I would date a girl if she looked like Amber Rose. She is super hot.

So...1. I have finally come to terms with my bisexuality and 2. I would undoubtedly date a girl who looks like Amber Rose.

Would you like whole wheat toast to much on?

Me: "Alright, so I have a venti whole milk with whip skinny peppermint mocha. Just to be sure, you still want the sugar free mocha and peppermint syrups, correct?"

I could *almost* give the people a pass for thinking Chipotle served soup because, while I don't live near one, I do have a Qdoba close by and they have tortilla soup as a regular menu item and, in my mind, they are roughly equivalent establishments. BUT there is no reason to get all crazy about serving things in…

Welcome back to Behind Closed Ovens, the BIZARRO EDITION:

Ugh, I hate the people who are just impossible to explain anything to. I had a conversation about pesto this week that went like this:

It's reading things like these that reinforce my opinion that everyone in the general public needs to work in the service industry for one year just to gain a different perspective of how their food comes to them. Think of how much better tips would be and how much easier service type jobs would be

*sips skinny whole-milk nonalcoholic Irish macchiato* from their monogrammed thermos

Nothing worse than linguinies that are picked too soon. Grilling them more won't even make them tender.

Ugh, some of these employees have so much attitude. If you're unwilling to do things just because they're logically impossible, maybe customer service isn't for you.

What's the word for the thing where you love a guy's music but you wish you never knew anything about him as a person