Oh, so I can get off scot-free as long as I apologize for not hitting someone.
the easiest way to make a boomer angry is to accurately describe their behavior
Monsters of the Jetway
Ah, I see, THAT’s the deal with airline food.
These earlier episodes of BattleBots are much more dangerous than I remember them.
This is the biggest hit I’ve seen laid on a number 11 who couldn’t handle drinks since Phil Simms.
“Khalil Mack Has Leg Amputated at Knee by Hidden Battleaxe, Still Strip-Sacks Jared Goff (UPDATE: He Grew Another Leg)“
Serious question: Do you like cheering for plays as they happen, or do you prefer to sit in silence for 6 minutes and then politely clap after they determine the outcome of a play?
Followup: How much do you love sniffing your own farts?
Having three kids is a challenge. Getting out of the house away from your three kids is an even bigger challenge.
I wish her the bejst.
Jesus Christ, Laura! The body isn’t even cold yet!
With Johnson and Statham’s bald heads, the movie is much more enjoyable if you pretend that Idris’ super soldier is fighting two genetically-modified, sentient testicles.
“Wow, what a psycho.” — Max Scherzer, at home eating a live rabbit
CALL HIM ISHMAEL.
Joule thief!
No, Mike, you can’t. But you also don’t have to turn your locker room into goddamned Arkham, either.
My brother in law is a Jets fan. Talk about a guy who makes poor life choices.
That instrument is broken out only for performances of Beethoven’s Symphony No. 3-some.
Unless things have changed since the early 2000s, the guy with the restraints is an actual Chicago cop. Which explains his struggle to put a white person in handcuffs.