His Wikipedia has already been edited. Beautifully.

Holy fucking shit.

“Man-Puncher’s Man Punches Man-Puncher’s Puncher-Man”

Also enraged was his other brother Dirrell.

This is part of the war on men. A Cox and a Dick were fired, what more proof do you need?!

Getting this put on a t shirt

Albert, can you tell us more about your clam?

Huh, LeBron carries them on his back during dance routines too.

Crosby Spills and Mashed

“left spluttering”...

Can’t wait to hear the punishment from Roger G’dell

Hell yeah they did.

“NHL’s sturdiest skater” lol. Has this writer never seen Jagr’s huge ass?

I hope you don’t get an endless parade of “what does this have to do with cars” comments, because this is the kind of quality longform journalism which I love to see on Jalopnik. Thanks, Ryan.

I am happy to announce that I will not be among those laid off by ESPN today.

Almost as good as the last time he victimized Longo on a trick play

This kind of shit is why I immediately mute every single human being on voice chat in any online multiplayer game.