Oh God. And now I can’t unsee Sarah Palin.

Instead of a drug dealer breaking my kneecaps, now my own wife was gonna do it. I was crestfallen.

They have to maximize every opportunity now that luck isn't on their side.

As a survivor, I can safely say that Mariska Hargitay and Raul Esparza have more than once saved me from losing myself in the darkness of the aftermath of my assault. I will never not be grateful to the writers for this: “whether you’re a john in the South Bronx or a $3-million-a-year talk show host, no means no.”

As Yogi Berra probably didn’t actually say, “nobody goes there anymore; it’s too crowded.”

So the Liberty had to tank TWICE as hard as the Knicks to secure the 1st pick overall...

“At a drunken dorm party, a little pedophilia might seem like harmless fun. But this time...”

Having never been touched like that by a woman before, it was all he could do to prematurely eject her.

Well we have tiny hands in the White house. Hopefully it will die out ASAP.

Can you imagine trying to catch the bouquet with those tiny arms? No wonder they died out

Buckaroo Banzai for me- there’s a long shot of him walking that woke me RIGHT up. 

Hey, remember that one time when Howard Dean screamed YEAHHHH kinda loud and awkwardly?

Hahahaha! I made fun of a women!

Won’t somebody please think of the incels??

Random Roles is meant to cover fictional roles, not reality programs. So something like Clean House wouldn’t appear here.

Not even one mention of “Clean House” in which she was the host for 9 seasons? Foolishness!

Don’t worry, Miles Morales Jermaine, your secret is safe with me.

Damn...here's your star, you bleak so and so.

Counterpoint, and I’m going to go an extreme here, but bear with me: On 9/11 2001, did the networks ‘stick to sports’? Obviously not, there was a catastrophic and grave national/World crisis that made sports irrelevant, for weeks it seemed like.

Will Caine is the only sports radio dude that makes you yearn for Steven A Smith so I guess it’s working as intended.