Hey! Don’t joke, man! Border security is very important to the people of Bumblefuck, South Dakota! I mean, sure, the border is hundreds if not thousands of miles away, but we still gotta try to get those votes, even if they never vote democrat!

The thing is, most people are convinced the system is rigged. They figure the winners are pre-determined and there are so many people conspiring to fuck them over that going to the voting booth barely even matters.

Expecting the base of the Democratic party (black women) to vote like the base of the Republican party (white men) is reason 1-99 of why the Democrats actually lose. Because the base of the Democratic party actually cares about shit like policy and agendas and character and what moves the country and the cause of…

Donald Trump is basically Peter Griffin in that episode of Family Guy when he’s running for the school board against Lois, just making up shit until something finally sticks, even though he’s only running because Lois thinks he’s too goddamn stupid for the job.

Part of this wavering “oh no, don’t say anything bad about Joe” stems from rapid paranoia over 2016 and America’s collective failure to stop a Trump presidency because they thought Hillary had it in the bag. People were convinced they could shit on Hillary and she would still win, and then she lost, and after the…

Like any position, good kickers take time to develop, and if you’re getting rid of one to replace them with another every season or doing it in-season all time, you’re pretty much never gonna find one.

Ehh, it wouldn’t matter. I hear the Dolphins are currently investigating ways in which they can win -1 games. 

My soon-to-be wife did the same shit to me. I’m pretty sure I spent the rest of the day angling my head so that she could never see the back of it.

Why the fuck was she invited? Who the fuck asked her to show up? What the fuck is that person’s problem? How is that person in charge of booking an invent that has to do with black perspectives? When is that motherfucker gonna get fired?

If it helps, I’m 32 and I spend at least ten minutes looking in the mirror every day praying that my hairline isn’t receding. So...age is how you feel?

Is Vinatieri the first kicker who is absolutely, for sure a bonafide first ballot Hall of Famer? There’s a part of me that goes “the NFL HOF voting braintrust will find some reason to not want a kicker to get in the first time he’s eligible”...but he’s Adam fuckin’ Vinatieri. This is as close to a slam dunk first…

I never understand this“we don’t need to go at each other’s throats” mentality.

Biden being Barack’s VP was pretty simple; he needed a somewhat affable, old white dude to sway reluctant white Democrats to vote for him. I mean, that was it, more or less.

Castro fucked up by being a brown person who dared to question a white man, forcefully and with his whole chest.

M immediate reaction watching him last night was”yup, his shoulder is fucked”. He just didn’t look like himself throwing the ball. I don’t think Cam will retire like Luck did, but the years of punishment are adding up.

The even dumber part of that statement is that 1.) the Redskins don’t have a FB on the roster because Jay Gruden doesn’t like fullbacks, and 2.) *Adrian Peterson rushed for over 1000 yards last season and barely ever ran out of an I-formation*. And that’s on top of playing in a zone stretch scheme when he’s typically…

...you must be fun at parties.

His name is pronounced like “Guys”.

True enough. Except for the part where a big chunk of those yards and the 3rd touchdown came after the Eagles had basically already sealed the game.

Nice to know that the Redskins wasted no time in completely fucking up their whole season.