Captain America punches Nazis. If the literal embodiment of Americaness is all for punching Nazis, I don’t see why I can’t be. I aspire to be as great as Captain America, and if that means punching Nazis, by God, that’s what I’m gonna do!

I have a vivid memory of my mom taking me to see True Lies when I was very, very young. (Not actually taking me, but going there regardless of if I was there or not.) Like, not infant or toddler young, but DEFINITELY too young to be watching Jamie Lee Curtis stripping. There’s a bunch of movies like that I’ve…

Dear God, fucking this.

We’ve got two Asian food hall/cafeterias in my area and one is VASTLY superior to the other. The only bad thing is that the one I like is the one where I got food poisoning at one of the stalls, so every time I eat there I feel like I’m going to get sick.

I had some gross ass popcorn chicken from Food Lion. I knew it was gonna be bad the second I looked at it, but it was 2 bucks and I didn’t feel like spending a lot for lunch. I like your idea much more.

Being a homophobic/transphobic/racist wrestling fan must be the hardest thing on the planet to be. Like, how do you enjoy literally anything?

At least he seems aware that there’s shit you can and can’t say. When he did Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee with Seinfeld, he does make reference to not being able to tell the same kind of jokes, but not in the same bitter way other comedians do. It comes from a place of seeming to understand he can’t work that same…

...So this is just because she’s black, right? I mean, we can say that, yeah? I don’t follow the UK news too much, but thus far, it seems like all the hate Meghan Markle receives comes simply from *checks notes* “being a royal who happens to have melanin in her skin”.

Nope. They give not a single, solitary fuck. Engagement is all that matters, at all cost. That Twitter is run predominantly by white men is surely just a coincidence.

Aww, I see that the Bears have moved into that “now that Mitch has had a good season he has to be a REAL QUARTERBACK who we win with to justify the insane money we’re gonna have to fork out in a few season” phase of Trubisky’s development.

This is what is so staggeringly jarring about the way in which Trump lies. Like, this is the most asinine bullshit ever. Literally no one cared. It was just a relatively minor gaffe. There’s a whole host of other horrors he could be lying about.

Is there anyone else struggling to believe that a sitting President might’ve doctored a photo because he doesn’t want to be wrong about a hurricane? Like...the fact that I even had to type that sentence just made me infinitely sad and depressed.

I’ll put out that the fuel efficiency gap between a gas engine, three row Ford Explorer (24 MPG combined) and, say, a Honda Odyssey (22 MPG) is comically small, almost to the point where it doesn’t matter. I think SUVs are stupid and shitty too, but “people should buy minivans because they’re more fuel efficient than…

Lies.

Frankly, the amount of effort put into covering The View (and Meghan McCain) is fucking exhausting, mostly because I don’t think it’s half as important as anyone on here thinks it is.

The thing is, Sean McVay was only a genius because he realized he could just throw the same look at people and the same plays, dress it up with some motion, and most defensive coordinators would just refuse to fucking adjust. McVay realized what Belichick realized years ago; the league is filled with dumbass, brazenly…

Probably the scariest shit you can see is when wrestlers go into “autopilot mode”, where they clearly don’t have any idea what they’re doing, but they’re just conscious enough to react the way they’re supposed to. KENTA was still bumping and still able to somewhat be in character, but it’s clear the lights are out and…

That’s my thing; if you’re gonna tank, embrace the tank. Fitzpatrick is exactly good enough that he’d get the Dolphins to like, 3-2 and roughly in the playoff conversation, and then they finished 5-11 and fall out of the top 5 of the draft. If you’re gonna lose, lose with your chest.

It’s because the Patriots don’t bullshit you. “We will pay you what we think is fair. If you don’t like what we think is fair, it’s only a waste of both of our times to hold out, so you go play for another team that will pay you more with less chance of winning games, and we’ll go out and find someone cheaper and…

The irony should be lost on absolutely fucking nobody. The same people he was mortified to learn were laughing at him and not with him are now the audience he’s playing to. It’s the fuckin’ worse.